Some marriages may have relationship problems and end in several years. Other marriages may last for more than fifty years. How can we explain why some marriages may last for a long time?
Lauer and Lauer (1985) conducted a survey with 351 couples. The couples had been married for 15 years or longer. They were asked about why their marriages had lasted. The most common answer for men and women was perceiving one’s spouse as a best friend. The second most frequent answer for both men and women was liking one’s spouse as a person. Viewing marriage as a long-term commitment was the third most frequent response for both men and women. The fourth most common answer for both men and women was seeing marriage as sacred. It is interesting that laughter was also important. Laughing together was the ninth most frequent answer for men, and the eighth most frequent answer for women.
In short, these findings suggests that couples perceive close friendship and commitment as two essential elements of an enduring marriage. However, we cannot make causal conclusions from these findings. We do not know whether the reasons that the couples provided are the true reasons for enduring marriages.
References
Lauer, J., & Lauer, R. (1985, June). Marriages made to last. Psychology Today, 22-26.